February with a capital F

Dear February,

Screw you. No, seriously. This is not a post about #rainbows or #blessed or anything charmingly quaint. No, this is real life. And right now real life can be summed up with a four letter word that starts with the sixth letter of the alphabet.

It started with the stomach flu last Tuesday night. I no longer need to work out because I guarantee you I lost about 5 pounds that night. I got zero sleep, the entire house appeared to spin for hours and it’s going to be a really long time before I eat Caesar salad, yogurt or alfredo pasta again.

Friday deserves its own post, but in summary my office was closed and all associates were fired (well, let go, but fired starts with an f) in what can only be described as the most colossal f’up I have ever been a part of. Again with the “No, seriously.” They forgot to bring my entire department to the separation meeting. I could not make that up if I tried.

Everyone was feeling cautiously optimistic because the Atlanta Falcons were in the Super Bowl for the second time ever. Their Rise Up slogan seemed so fitting for what happened at work. The underdog team was going to win and Rise Up was going to be a motivational motto for all of us! Spoiler alert, they lost. Spectacularly. Fail.

Shortly after that, Hannah spiked a high fever and the congestion and snot hit her like a freight train. She was miserable. She refused to sleep unless she was being physically held by Mike or I. She wasn’t drinking. It was awful. Third time in less than a month she’s been down for the count – we’ve had Hand, Foot & Mouth, ear tube/adenoid surgery and now post-surgery pain & a cold.

So really, February 2017. Go F yourself. We’re not even halfway through the month and this is just ridiculous.

After you’re done being penitent, it’s time for redemption. After all – more than half the month remains. So please go all out. Prove that you can do it. I dare you to end the month with more positive words like fabulous or fantastic.

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Edited 2/13/17:

Over the weekend Hannah came down with the stomach flu. She had it much worse than I did. Instead of searching for a new position, I snuggled my poor sick baby and Googled things like “How to get vomit stains out of carpet” and “Are car seat harnesses replaceable?”.

Wrong direction, February. Wrong direction.