Winning at Parenting

At the pool Saturday afternoon, I quietly mentioned to Mike that I wanted to run to Target after dinner to purchase a sweater that was on sale. A half hour later as we were sitting on the pool deck…

LJ: “Mommy I want to go to Target with you!”
Me: “Oh, well, I don’t need to go to Target right now.” (little white lie…)
LJ: “Yes you do! You have to go get your sweater because it’s on sale.”
Me: …

#CaptainElephantEars
(Yes, Mom, I know you’re laughing…)

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Me: “Seriously, lady?! Gas pedal’s on the right!!”
LJ: “Mommy, what’s a gas pedal?”
Me: “It’s what you push to make the car go.”
LJ: “Oh! Well that lady should push hers so her car can go fast!”
Me: “Anything would be an improvement…”
LJ: “What’s that other one down there for?”
Me: “That’s the brake pedal. You push that when you want the car to stop.”
LJ: “Oh. Mommy, you should probably push that stopping pedal when we pull into the driveway so we don’t get into an accident!”
Me: “Yep, will do buddy.”

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In the cereal aisle at Publix…
LJ: “Mommy, look! I want the black cereal!”

Referring to a brown box of chocolate Lucky Charms. The colors black and brown are one and the same to L.J.

A few aisles later, in earshot of an elderly woman, L.J. accidentally dropped something in the cart:
LJ: “Holy Mackerel!” **looks around for a moment** “Holy Shit!”
Me: *Face Palm*

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Mike: “How was church school today?”
LJ: “Good.”
Mike: “What did you learn about?”
LJ: “Church.”