One Month In

I’ve got one month as a working mom of two under my belt. I recently read the one-month-in post I did with L.J., and I have to say it’s a very different experience this time. It’s been much less overwhelming this time. It’s a continuation of what already was rather than unchartered territory. I’m already (unfortunately) used to less sleep, no balance and trying to cram must-do’s into our schedule like a Tetris puzzle.

Emotionally it’s been much harder this time. It’s taken a lot longer to get my head back in the game at work. I want to do a good job…but I want to do that job and then get home to my kids.

I’ve been extremely stressed about L.J.’s school situation, which has made the transition that much harder. We like the school, we like the administration and we like the teachers. But there is a small group of kids in his class I not-so-affectionately refer to as Lord of the Flies. How do you change that? We would do almost anything to move the kids back to our beloved former school.

Changing schools for the kids is not off the table, but the majority of moms are at home where we live. You trip over preschools, but there are a limited number of quality daycares and the wait lists at all of them are long.

It certainly doesn’t help that I pass multiple schools and bus stops on my way to work. I drive past dressed in work clothes with coffee in hand, watching as moms in workout attire and messy ponytails put their kids on the bus. It's hard.

For the record, I don’t want to stay at home full time. But I do want to be home more of the time. I don’t want our weekends to be a whirlwind of family activities and chores that leave us exhausted instead of refreshed on Sunday night. I want to enjoy time with my kids instead of mentally tallying up what still has to be done. I’d like to actually be able to meet some mom friends who live nearby, and be able to join in mom group activities.

Maybe someday. For now, we just keep moving forward knowing that in some ways this transition has been much easier and for that we are thankful. But in other ways – and perhaps more important ways – it has been much harder.