Until Next Time

“…and he gathered up the sad remains of his major award…”

Remember the infamous leg lamp in the movie A Christmas Story? And more specifically, Ralphie’s dad’s reaction in the scene where the lamp is broken?

Anger
Sadness
Wounded Pride

I’ve definitely felt all those emotions as I made the decision to stop pumping. Just as glue didn’t restore the lamp, pumping didn’t restore (or even really establish) my milk supply.

So I played my own mental version of Taps as I packed away the pumping parts and unplugged my pump. It wasn’t easy, but it’s time to move forward.

As I was struggling with these emotions yesterday I received an encouraging and uplifting email from a dear friend. It’s funny sometimes the timing of things. Her note was exactly what I needed to hear and I’ve re-read it a half dozen times.

Breastfeeding (and pumping) isn’t everything…but it is something that I wanted to work and wanted to do for my son. I was able to do it for a little while and ‘some’ is definitely better than ‘none.’

It’s been a learning experience, too. If we are blessed with a second child I’ll have a little more knowledge the second time around. Hopefully I won’t have the medical problems that hindered breastfeeding this time.

But you know what?

If we have a second child and breastfeeding doesn’t work the second time either, it’s all going to be ok. I look over at my (finally) sleeping son, with his full belly and his adorable chipmunk cheeks that get bigger by the day, and I see a happy, healthy, growing baby. He’s getting the nourishment he needs – both from the bottles that he adores and the crazy amounts of love we shower on him every day.

And that, as my friend pointed out, is the most important ingredient of all – love.