The Final Week

This week is my last week of maternity leave. It went by way too quickly!

Prior to and even after L.J. was born – when “back to work” was still a ways off – I wasn’t sure how I would feel as March 4 approached. Some days I thought I’d be ready; other days I felt the opposite. The verdict: I absolutely do not want to go back to work. To say that I’m a bit of an emotional wreck right now would be something of an understatement. I’ve shed more than a few tears the past couple of days.

I know the first day will be the hardest. As a family friend said, “It doesn’t even have to be a good day.” I just have to get through it.

I think about my struggles with breastfeeding, and how emotionally charged the decision to stop pumping was for me. Now, two months later, I can look back and say that I made the right decision for L.J. and me. I feel confident with the choice I made, and bottle feeding has given my family special time to bond with L.J.

I say that because I hope that once we get settled into our new routine I’ll be able to look back and say that I made the right choice for our family. It doesn’t feel like the right choice right now. Far from it. But I’m trying to stay positive and give it a chance.

Right now though? It’s really, really hard and I am really struggling with it. We’re going to go through a lot of Kleenex this week.

On a happier note, mostly to make me smile, here’s a funny picture of L.J. from last week. We put my mom’s reading glasses on L.J. and he was quite bemused by the fact that we were all laughing so hard. (They’re hard to see…click the picture to make it bigger.)